it never fails to amaze me, the google searches that get people here. really. i mean, for awhile, every month some poor bastard was getting here by googling ‘elephant porn’. i was hesitant to announce that that particular search no longer brings more folks into the fold, as it were, largely because i felt that would be tempting the fates. or the innernets. or the bill gates. whatever.
and i’m not reprinting the whole list the french webmaster thingers gave me. some of it is redundant. some of it is out of control. but i’m printing some of it to distract all parties involved. i’m experiencing girlie problems of the variety that men don’t like to hear about. but, since i haven’t had these sort of girlie problems (BLOOD, CRAMPS) in about a year, and i shouldn’t be having these girlie problems (IMPLANT), and my history makes me skittish (CANCER), i need a good laugh.
subtle, aren’t i?
without further ado, the list of tomfoolery:
expired nyquil – also showed up later on the list as ‘nyquil expired’. i’m not sure what y’all are looking for. i only told that story once, right? i’m pretty sure. and yet, it’s there every month since. don’t drink the expired nyquil, folks. and especially don’t drink it if you are an impressionable and precocious nerd-in-training that decides to read ‘alice in wonderland and through the looking glass’ while home with a cold, only to discover that the words on the page are moving, and your cabbage patch kids sheets are, um, looking at you. like, hardcore looking at you. eesh.
and before i hear about how dorky my sheets were – i was maybe nine or ten years old. it was in the ’80s. i rest my case.
duck sh*t – this is my own fault, because of that album over yonder. named before i gave up the majority of the swearing. when i was in washington dc last, it seemed that everything was coated in a fine, and not-so-fine, layer of duck guano. they should have a task force that controls the duck poo element of the capital. that’s all i’m saying. but… who are you people, putting this sort of thing into the google? i wish i knew if it was an image search or a page search. are you interested in an ‘identify the poo’ field guide? just curious as to how many people have stories involving duck crap? it’s kinda creepy, y’all.
jellyfish lake – er… no.
dr theopolis – fabulous band that has done away with their awesome home page. and they never update their event list. quit with the google on this one. go to cd baby and order all of their cd’s. you will be very happy with your purchase, and you’ll be supporting some great musicians. some of whom have fabulous keisters.
just sayin’.
little puppies and kittens togather – first, we all know how i feel about the spelling. second… uh. you’re better off going to the cheezburger site. mostly kittens, sometimes featuring walruses and rats. and dogs. and the occasional puppy.
who is ms.pot in the golden limping stick – i have no idea what this means. i even went and googled it. i still don’t know what it means. i do like that i’m the fifth one down. but that first one… thong limp ninja video? i kinda want to see that.
selective amnesia that guy stalking – my first response is… sounds like a fun weekend. my second response is… wha?
you are the naughty doctor and a hot girl came to see you – i have to point out that google works best when you use short phrases rather than full-ish sentences. and… i think the boys of dr theopolis will be thrilled to see that one. maybe they’re the naughty doctor and i’m the hot girl? psh, i’m not that full of myself. but this has been cracking me up for a few days. anyway… i’m actually not sure how that links to my blog. i went to the google and scrolled through the first four pages. i may need a bit of purell now, but other than that? well, i just don’t see it.
thanks for stopping by.
