tilt-a-whirl

first, i need to say: the last post? where i was derailed by a picture of someone’s snuggler? it’s not really how i feel about things, but more of an instant/ gut reaction. really, now. as long as my crush is happy, and he’s getting what he needs (in many different ways. get your minds out of the gutter), then it’s all good. i’m happy for him, and i hope it works out. in my defense, sometimes it’s frustrating to have the obvious pointed out. especially if you’re already in a weakened state.

i’m going to point at my girl hormones and be done with it. this elaborate hand gesture that you can’t see? this is me washing my hands of being a little wuss.

okay, wait. i’m not really done with it. i tend to think in pictures, and i tend to think of people’s lives as… um… orbits. although, they look more like arcs and trajectories, rather than something that follows the same path endlessly.

which possibly makes no sense. but in my head, it all looks like a tilt-a-whirl. we randomly whiz through time and space, but in a semi-ordered fashion. controlled chaos, okay? and we cross paths with others based on this chaos. you have overlap, or you follow the same trajectory for awhile. and then you may veer away from each other. sometimes it’s a good feeling, that zipping away. sometimes, you hope everything rolls and rotates and arcs in the same manner, so that you can return to that other person. or that other place, event, what-have-you. one of my big phrases is oh yeah, when the planets align and all that. meaning, it may be awhile before i get back to that enter-thing-space-person-relationship-here. but i intend to try to get back there. you know what i mean?

so. i’m on the tilt-a-whirl. my car is whizzing in strange directions. i’m kinda hoping i see more of his face again. but i’m also kinda hoping to not puke. did i have a corndog before coming on this ride?

anyway.

in other news, i got an email from my former boss-lady, whom i love. i put her down as a reference for a lab job here at hospital a, and she wrote me today to tell me they called, and she laid it on pretty thick. so, i either owe her a knitted purse, or a bottle of booze. hospital b wants me to apply for this newly-created position, which isn’t really what i want. it’s less stabbing, but more processing. so, more playing with poo and pee instead of needles. like i said, not really what i want. but i’ll be applying directly, because it’s a lab position, and it could lead me to what i want in time.

psh. when people find out about my crazy schedule, they always ask me why. and my response is, we do what we do to get what we want. when you set your sights on something, you know it may not be easy, and it may require a bit of sacrifice. but if it’s what you really want, the sacrifice is justified. and this is what i really want. it’s a strange calling, especially for someone who used to have a fear of needles. but there it is. i love my time in the lab, and i’m good at what i do. that’s a twofer in my book. and it’s worth the crazy schedule. because, the way i see it, a person can do anything for ten weeks. and i have four more weeks to go.

i’m looking forward to it. i can hardly wait. i may even be doing the pee dance right now, in my seat.

thanks for stopping by.