the lost art of paying attention

maybe i’m just overly sensitive to this sort of thing, but has anyone else noticed a marked decline in manners and etiquette? i mean, i’m not the nicest or most well-mannered human on the planet. i doubt i’m even in the top 1,000. however, i know enough to know that people in general are losing the ability to be courteous. and y’all know i have examples.

situation #1 – i’m sitting at a table in a shared break room area. i’ve got a book open in front of me, and i’m reading. there’s no one else in the room. or, there’s another person at the table, also reading. co-worker comes in, sees books open and reading happening, and starts talking. loudly. about bowel problems, usually, but the point is the talking. i look up, smile, then prop my book up to make sure the co-worker sees that i’m reading a book. co-worker continues to talk.

i’d love to start slapping people in the face with a large, smelly fish every time this happens. it’s one thing to join in a conversation already in progress. quite another to disrupt my free time talking about your ass issues. i don’t stand outside your bathroom door and read knitting patterns through a megaphone. although, maybe i should start.

situation #2 – say you’re walking down a hallway, pushing a cart in front of you. let’s say the cart in question is the size of a coffee cart, and it’s heavy and doesn’t corner very well. coming toward you are three people, walking shoulder to shoulder, taking up the width of said hallway. instead of moving out of the way of you and your cart, they simply stop. you’re forced to wrangle this cart around three people with doctorate degrees, who are acting like a bovine trifecta.

in reality, the cart does not have lovely caffeine aboard. it, in fact, has a wide array of needles and other bloodletting devices. and it would be wise to get out of the way of such a cart and its person. i am very good at getting needles into moving targets. and stationary ones. just saying.

situation #3 – driving on the road in snowy conditions. seriously, these last two or three weeks have made clear to me the definition of road rage. the ones i’d love to slap with my aforementioned fish would be the people who are insistent on tailgating. i’m driving the speed limit, cable-chains on my tires, on a public street. the person behind me, usually an SUV, is so close to the back end of my car i can’t see their headlights. this makes me nervous as all get-out. it’s also nice when large trucks get annoyed with your safe driving and speed up to overtake you on the snowy median, then swerve in front of you. honestly. maybe, you should leave earlier when there’s bad weather. or, you know, take the bus.

situation #4 - not exactly an etiquette thing, but… when someone asks you for your area code, don’t act like a moron and give them your zip code. pay attention.

situation #5 – you’re in an elevator, the sole passenger, and you reach your floor. the doors open, and people start pushing their way on before you can even get off. you say ‘excuse me’, to draw attention to the fact that these people clearly are about to be fish-slapped. they say, ‘it’s okay,’ or ‘don’t worry about it.’ like, somehow it’s your fault they can’t be bothered to let someone get out of an elevator before they get on.

here’s what i suggest. how about, for your new years’ resolution? you resolve to be a little more considerate of other people. return phone calls in a timely manner, don’t flake on your friends and associates. smile, make a little eye contact.

and be extra-polite to any redhead toting a large fish.

thanks for stopping by.