… i really, really, really have to like you to knit for you. or create anything for you.

first, it’s labor intensive, making stuff. it involves planning, color spectrum analysis (which i used to farm out to kitten, but sadly i now have to do it by my ownself) (by the way, i still hear the cat in my room. is that weird? anyone? and is it even weirder that i’m worried i’l leave her spirit behind when i move?), and math. and a bit of brow furrowing on occasion. there’s also washing the finished whatever-it is, and blocking if it’s made of the yarn. and then i have to remember to take pictures of it, so i can brag about my handiwork on ravelry.

second, i’m sure i’m doing my wrists and shoulders no favors. even if i am hunched over some way beautiful yarn. i’m still hunched over (yeah, i’m not sure why, either) and doing some repetitive stuff. so, that’ll be awesome in 10 years.

third, i’m totally setting myself up for failure. if i make something for someone, there’s the huge chance they won’t like it. or they won’t appreciate it. even when i knit for myself, there’s a chance i won’t like the finished object.

and i’m totally not complaining. these are the risks anyone takes with sharing their creative outlet.

however. i am super choosy about whom i share my obsession with. some people… well. they don’t deserve to be knat for. you know?

my roommate, z, is one of those people. when we were snowed in this winter, i gave her a pair of my self-knit wool socks. because she was cold, and because they made me itch. something about this particular brand of wool. i gave them knowing full well she wouldn’t appreciate them. sure enough, even though i told her they were wool, and shouldn’t be introduced to the dryer, she managed to shrink one of them. yeah, just one. now she has an unwearable pair of socks. awesome.

about six or seven years ago, she was on my case to make her a blanket. i have a bunch of crocheted blankets, and she loved them immensely. they’re warm and pretty, and each takes me about a month to make. even though her birthday’s in august, i made her one of these super-warm blankets.

they're interlocked squares of flowers

she loved it, and thanked me.

this past winter, she brought it out and had it on the back of the couch. where it’s still sitting. and where i noticed…

this angers me to no end

abuse.

now, if shoes were switched, and this were her hard work sitting mangled on my couch, i’d ask if there were a way to repair it. or, ask her how i could put it back together.

seriously. i want to have a screaming, kicking fit about this

i don’t know if the dog is absently chewing on this (he loves yarn, as more than a friend, if you get my meaning), or if the kids are picking it apart. all i know is, i have a similar blanket, and it still looks perfect.

rage... taking... over

but, i do take care of handmade objects.

so, those socks she wants? no. the cardigan she’s pestering me for? hell to the no.

god, those pictures piss me off so much.

on the brighter side of my knitting addiction… i’m working with some beautiful hand-dyed alpaca.

oh, squooshy greenery. how awesome you are

dyed with plant and vegetable dyes. meaning…

like cheeto dust, only green. and not dusty

it looks like i’m doing dirty things to the hulk over here.

just wrong

thanks for stopping by.

you know what’s great? when you’re having a super lousy day, and you decide the best thing for your foul mood is a walk. and you go to the nature-ish path near your house, and within ten seconds, you’ve managed to slip on some mud and fall spectacularly on your knee. with witnesses.

yeah, friday was a great day. i’m not even joking about the ten seconds. i wish this bruise would photograph well.

anyway.

so, it’s been a not-great week and change. if you’ve been playing the home game, you know that last week, i took miz ophelia to the emergency room vet, where they poked holes in her and gave her a boost of blood. she’s still doing well. on wednesday, the vet called to tel me that she has lymphoblastic leukemia. which is a type of bone marrow cancer. so, that’s bad. but, she’s still on my list of favorite things. and now, she’s pretty much allowed to do whatever she flippin’ wants. it’s a house rule i have – if you get cancer, you get your way. so, she’s been sleeping under the sheets sometimes, and drinking right out of my glass when it suits her. and eating crackers. which i don’t feel bad about, because they’re the annie’s organic bunny crackers. those can’t possibly be bad for her.

it's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it, yeah

she really likes the dirty jobs dvds.

i’ve nearly finished knitting a pair of socks. which is not a big deal by itself. but, considering that i started the first sock this past monday, and i’m a few inches from completing the second sock here on sunday, it’s a fast set.

it reminds me of stained glass windows

i can’t show you the whole sock, because they’re a gift, and i’m not entirely convinced the recipient doesn’t read the blog. but they’re cool, and i wish they were my size.

seriously, it looks like a muppet to me

i discovered what can only be the single ugliest scarf i’ve ever tried to make. i stuffed it away a while back, and i found it today. it’s so not my style.

like i eviscerated a muppet and put my head through it

i mean, as a scarf it’s not my style. clearly, i enjoy the idea of it being some kind of accessory.

this gives me the desire to swig vodka

or prop.

also?

i’m not the kind of girl that has crushes on movie stars. i tend to reserve myself for television actors, apparently. and not only do i find david tennant’s version of dr who to be amusingly cheeky, i have a desire to get the TARDIS tattooed on my person. if you don’t follow dr who (and really… what’s wrong with you that you don’t?), the TARDIS is that police box the guy’s standing in front of. it’s really a time-and-space travel machine.

i kinda want one in the backyard.

thanks for stopping by.

this morning, i decided to take the train to work. largely because i’m stubborn and lazy – the chains are on my car, and i refuse to take them off just for the joy of driving to work. the train tracks are not frozen today, so that seemed a little smarter.

anyway.

i’m standing on the platform, watching the train pull in, and i notice the time/ temperature ticker reader thingy. the temperature, at nearly seven this morning?

nineteen degrees.

which is nothing if you live in canada, or alaska. but to me, standing there in four layers of clothing and two sets of gloves? it was a little nippy out.

i’m now making mittens. and maybe my own felted human hamster ball, to wait for the train in.

now that i’ve typed that… wouldn’t it be kinda awesome? my own fuzzy cocoon.

yeah, i know i’m not saying anything of great gravity or relevance. it’s hard to think with this huge migraine and frozen plants.

but thanks for stopping by.

dear knitty,

i freaking love you. i want to make just about everything in your new winter issue. except that vest, because i’m just not a believer in vests. or belted cardigans. or victorian-esque neckwarmers. also, i will not be knitting that big butt-looking cushion. while it is cool, and awesome, and fabulous, i don’t see a need to add another ass to my household.

but knitted earrings? i see nothing wrong with that.

also? way to give me a slew of things i really want to make. just in time for the snow that’s supposed to start happening this weekend.

like i need another reason to stay home and watch re-runs of dirty jobs with mike rowe.  i am just saying, is all.

thanks for stopping by. send bacon in a few days.

because i’ve done nothing truly exciting. and by ‘nothing exciting’ i mean nothing that doesn’t involve bloodletting.

oh, and i’m officially not allowed to be a mom. when you pop out a kid, the hospital does these PKU tests. that involve, you know, some blood. and since the baby is still so very wee at testing time (between 24 and 72 hours after birth, is when the test must be performed), the test of choice involves a lancet (spring loaded sharp object), a baby heel, me, and some absorbent paper.

i desire more practice. which is why i’m not allowed to have kids.

anyway.

february’s socks were completed on time. however, they currently reside in moi’s sock drawer. which is in southern california, and i am, you know, not. so, as soon as our california correspondent gets on that, you can see those.

march’s socks were not done in time. and i’m willing to bet neither will april’s socks. because, while i am riding the rain to work, people look at you funny when you whip out your knitting. like, they give you a long, hard stare. so, i also carry a book. and the book gets me stares, too. sure, it’s about a cholera epidmic in the 1800s, and it says something about sewage on the cover. people tend to shy away from the word ’sewage’ before 9am.

anyway. april’s socks are progressing slowly. we’ll see what happens.

so, for those of you that show up for the knitting, here’s the march socks:

the yarn, while nice, is a bit too stripey. i’m hating yarns that are stripey right now. so… yeah. they fit just fine. they sit just shy of my kneecaps, which is longer than i really wanted. as you can see, the short bursts of color in the yarn meant a lot of pooling/ striping action. enough that you can’t really see the pattern i used, or the awesome foot shaping.

they’re very comfortable. and this picture shows the leaf pattern i used. it’s kind of like those pictures that were popular in the last decade. you know, where it was just a bunch of random-looking colors, but when you focused and relaxed, you saw a sailboat or something. i mean, supposedly. i never saw the hidden pictures personally. i guess i’m just special that way.

i have other projects that have been completed this year, and i just haven’t gotten around to getting pictures of them. so, since i have good weather happening, i should get on that.

and with that, i end abruptly. thanks for stopping by.

oh, dudes… ravelry is total crack.

i may have never known about this yarn without ravelry:

dude. eyeballs. in the yarn. super badass!

sadly, insubordiknit is out of the yarn at this time. aw, crap. i need this. i don’t know why, exactly. but i require some of this yarn.

with eyeballs.

so, wordpress and i had a semi-minor kerfuffle over some pictures this weekend. i’m not sure wha happened (yes, i meant to leave the ‘t’ off there. please don’t email me about it), but i think there was a misunderstanding between firefox and wordpress.

because the pictures are doing okay now. psh, i don’t know. i even dug explorer out of the hard drive, and it gave me the same load of crap about pictures.

and yet, it’s working just fine now. what the hell?

it’s an issue. i’m working on it. that’s otis up there.

so! i spent my weekend being a total dork. as per usual. i knitted up a storm, and… i finally sewed up a cardigan that has been finished forever. see, i made this pretty red lace cardigan. and lo, it was good. except for the sleeves. they sucked, they were a little snug and scratchy, and their seams blew goats. just trust me on that. so, i re-knit them. and then i just lost interest in the cardigan. it’s been sitting in a basket waiting to be sewn up for, like, months now.

so finally, i sewed that bitch on up. and, i neglected to take pictures. largely because i was thinking to myself, screw pictures. i can’t post them.

der. i can put them up on ravelry. along with pictures of other stuff i’ve been meaning to put up.

blah blah blah.

anyway… i mentioned my interview on friday? i think i got the position, but i won’t know for sure for a few more days yet. but man… that interview was surreal. it wasn’t anything anyone did or said. it was more my exhaustion. work, clinical, race home for a shower and a change of clothes, then bolt over to the interview. i was a little wiped out. i think it helped me be a little more normal. i’m usually a bit on the tightly-wound side, or at least very-nervous-and-trembly. and i stutter a bit. being so pooped as i was, made me seem calm and relaxed.

i may be outsorcing my sleeping from now on.

she does it so well. after my interview, i went looking for this portable version of guitar hero i had seen on the innernets, but i had no luck. and then some small part of my brain notified me that i was seriously close to passing out, and i should just go home. which i did. and which i did.

my bedside table. i really like the lighting, is all.

oh, and i really wanted to show y’all this. i’ve been having some color issues, it appears.

green shoes, tequila sunrise socks, blue scrubs. i think my hoodie was green. with dark green bunnies. but i was giving people headaches, what with all the crazy.

i dare not tell them i get dressed in roughly 30 seconds, and i don’t have time for frilly things like mirrors most days.

at least i use soap. thanks for stopping by.

so, i think i might need to make a general statement:

i am tired, y’all.

it’s a general type of exhaustion. but i’ve been the walking dead for the last month. and really, it’s only going to get worse before it gets better. i blame the 60+ hours a week i’ve been working. that’s it, really. well, that and graveyard has officially begun to suck ass.

i don’t know if you folks remember this, but almost a year ago, hospital a announced a bunch of layoffs. and i was all blase about it, largely because i’m not really fire-able. now, i work for a non-profit, and funding is a big deal every year. and this year, hospital a lost a bunch of their funding for the next fisical year. which means, less community outreach, clinics are being forced to shut down, and some jobs are being eliminated.

my current job, however, is not one of them. because, as i said, i’m kind of un-fire-able. still. however, the financial craziness that has gripped my curent employer means that i may not be able to get a job in the lab, which was my original plan. and even if i do get a job in the lab, it puts me on the bottom of the seniority pile. and… fire-able.

anyway. friday afternoon, the administration at hospital b – my clinical site – had strongly suggested that i formally apply for a position in their lab. i’ve done the research on them, and they are also a non-profit. their employees seem to like working there. blah blah blah. so, while i’m kind of depressed about maybe having to leave hospital a, it’s nice to know that hospital b loves me, and is prepared to go steady and all.

and graveyard had been sucking not because of the hours. it sucks because i work with people who are freakishly concerned that their jobs are going to be eliminated. and, to be honest, i’m tired of reassuring them otherwise. i mean, it can’t be changed, so why worry about it? and, if i may be brutally honest – we were told last year that there may be more layoffs the next year, and we should use this time to make ourselves more valuable, or whatever you’d like to call it. the people who are bitching about more layoffs? they’ve done dick to assure that they’ll have a job the next time a crunch comes. am i being an irrational bitch? maybe. but really. it’s like… it’s like knowing the weather forecast calls for snow, and wearing shorts anyway. and not carrying chains for your car.

i can’t stand it when people are so damn passive about these kind of things. yeah, i’m the queen of passive in a lot of ways. but i try not to complain about it when my passivity bites me in the ass. i chose this for myself, you know?

argh. really. 

and, i mentioned the being tired? i went out friday night, and was kind of a blank slate. normally, i’m a lot more animated where music is involved. but i just couldn’t swing a lot of energy excertion.

not even for these guys.

dr theopolis. who are totally my favorites. even when they’re blurry (and on purpose, too, since i opted to not roll with the flash). it was a little bit weird to begin with, the whole show/ evening. yeah, tickets were a bit pricey ($25 in advance, and somewhere near $30 at the door), but it was all for a great cause. which, according to some of the guys in the band (see, i was totally listening, ez), was not real publicized. it was a mardi gras theme, and the people putting it on were looking to raise money for new orleans, and rebuilding. which, like, five people seemed to know. so, not a lot of people showed up. queenie and i had a good time. even though i probably looked like i just wanted to lie down, i was glad to be there, and even more thrilled to wear queenie’s mask as a hat.

and i may have knocked a guy up with my patella. but maybe you just had to be there for that.

oh, and i apparently caught a few more self portraits. most of which are much darker than this, and look fine on my monitor. but i realize not all monitors are created equal, and so i’ve lightened this one quite a bit.

and i love strings of lights.

and fire dancers freak me the hell out.

and, i have pcitures of january’s socks. because i know you’re really here for the fiber.

have i told y’all how much i love these socks?

it snowed on saturday, and my feet were warm the whole time.

love the socks. but, there’s this to contend with.

i’ve been thinking about mittens again. and i may have started a pair with what you see up there.

thanks for stopping by. thanks for reading my rant(s). and thanks to those who give to other people and places, even if they can’t really afford it.

thanks. 

so, i’ve done pretty close to nothing this weekend. and i’m loving the doing next to nothing.

and of course, by nothing i mean, done five loads of laundry, grocery shopping, pedicure, dinner with YMCrae, looked at apartments, gone to a housewarming, badgered the cat, and knat. i’ve learned that, when one only has about 48 hours each week in which to unwind and gear up for the next onslaught, one gets pretty organized about slacking off.

and, as promised, i have pictures. woot!

so, saturday evening i finished my socks while watching young frankenstein. which was on sale at the store down the way, so it came home with me. that, and edward scissorhands, and dr strangelove. because i have a wee crush on peter sellers. anyway, finished them, blocked them… and didn’t take pictures of them. nor the tam i finished last week. my story is, they are wet and not ready for the camera. but i do have general shots of the second sock in progress.

i cannot tell you how awesome the yarn is, or how awesome the pattern is. if you’re a knitter, you need to buy the cat borhdi book. seriously. crazy good times.

i think it’s a combination of the brightness of the yarn (the tequila sunrise colorway of yarntini, which i know i’ve said a billion times, but suck it. i love the yarn. love it), the working graveyard, and the winter that made pulling this sock out of my purse a flash of summer. i would blink once or twice after exposing it to the light, thinking did i really buy something this garish?

note the rounded toe. the cat borhdi book has insturctions on several different types of toe constructions. this is a whirlpool toe. it was embarssingly fun to make.

and my secret project? she is blue.

she is… uh, malabrigo, i think. i bought the yarn, and promptly lost the tag between the shop and the car. the receipt is as useless as tits on a bull. to quote my grandfather. sorry about the flashiness of the picture. but this is the most true-to-life color shot i got of the yarn in question.

did i ever tell you i’m a very safe driver?

i mean, yes. i do take pictures while driving. and yes, i have a stick shift. so, it’s complicated. but doabe. and safer than texting while driving. which i do not do. at all. ever.

and… did i ever show you this?

i think maybe i did. deputy pork here resides in nw portland.

moving on.

so, when i was in spokane? and i neglected to take pictures of all the awesome churches? yeah. i did, however, take pictures of the coolest icicles i have ever seen.

this was right outside our hotel. i am so impressed with icicles. it’s just one of those things, like rounded toes on my socks. 

i mentioned the new cat furniture?

this is ophelia, 0.02 seconds after sprinkling the organic catnip on that cardboard thingy. note the mad crazy blur as her head gets all freaky with the new scratching thinger. seriously, she is in love with it. she freaks out if i touch it. my big thing now is, i scratch the side of it, and she comes running. she jumps atop the chaise lounge there, and hunkers down. the other morning, she got whipped into such a frenzy, she attacked my hand, which was moving under the blankets. apparently, i was too close to her beloved.

and hey, guess what? she dislikes the camera.

trying to get pictures of her is like trying to catch a greased pig or something. i like the shots i’m getting, but it’s a little difficult to get her to sit. still. especially with the ‘nip issues i’m now enabling. and yeah, that’s my chin in the upperish left.

‘kitten,’ i say. ‘blogland wants to see you.’

oh, well. mr sparkles says she’s lost a bit of weight. and she has. i put her on diet cat food for about three months, and she seems to have a lot more energy now. she’s back to her regular kibble now. 

school is great. despite working with one woman who is an evil bitch, i’m loving my career choice. with the one exception, the people at my clinical site are helpful, and i’m learning quite a lot. i had a woman insist on talking to the manager, because i did a really good job. she didn’t even feel me taking her blood, she said. and i only poked her once. while i was totally flattered, i didn’t see what the big deal was. she had veins bigger than a pipeline. 

and, people have been asking how i’m doing the whole working-two-jobs thing. sure, i have a schedule, and i do not deviate from said schedule. of course, i have a powerful ally in my corner.

meet my coffee. i make it pretty damn strong.

and, the cafe i’m at right now? reminds me that i really should maybe own a peter gabriel album. right along with that mavis staples album i keep meaning to get. 

anyway. 

i feel like the papparazzi. thanks for stopping by.

so, yeah. bad things have happened, and we have lost a dear person. and it’s not like these things don’t affect me. in fact, i went to a catholic church, said the prayer, and lit a candle in his name. not that he’s catholic, but i don’t know what else to do at this point. but, it’s currently a private matter for discussion at a later date.

case closed. moving on.

so… knitting. i’ve been knitting up a storm, although i only have the one finished object to show you. i made z a hat, and of course i have no pictures of it. maybe when she’s wearing it, i’ll get some shots. i finished one of my dad’s socks, with the other one started this morning. and, well… they are boring. they are nearly identical to the ones i made for my mother, but with different color stripes. and i had to rip it back because it was too big twice.

i’m so ready to be done with these goddamn socks.

anyway! my finished object? very fabulous. people have been asking me ‘where did you get that?’ instead of ‘did you make that?’ seriously gratifying.

the pattern is ‘vintage velvet’ from scarf style. it looks like a psychedelic cat in that picture. the pictures only get weirder, folks.

the pattern called for five skeins of this amazing yarn, called ‘touch me’. and while it was very soft, it shed like a crazy bastard. anyway, i only used four skeins. because i bought the stuff on sale, and that’s all they had of any one color. i own very little in the purple department.

after it’s knit, you throw it in the washing maching on the ’scald your ass’ hot cycle. the yarn had a small amount of wool in it, and it felted just a bit. and then i threw it in the dryer, because setting it out in the garage to dry means the thing would freeze. which is not optimal in a scarf.

see? leave me alone in an office for longer than 15 minutes, and i become unreliable.

i love that picture. something about the lines and angles. anyway, the scarf is so very warm and awesome. i do wish i had had five or six skeins of this stuff, to make a looooong scarf. but i still love this thing. and as i said, it looks amazing. people keep reaching out to fondle it.

a while ago, i mentioned my issue with not finding the blue moon sock yarn in local stores? man, i’m kind of over it. i mean, i’ll still buy the stuff when i go to moi’s in march, but… it appears that there are a thousand people that hand-dye sock yarn. like, the glorious and beautiful ladies at abundant yarn & dyeworks.

i think that color is called ‘wine country’. amazing and beautiful. and cheap! jesus, i’ve bought drinks that cost more, you know? and let it be known – the next person that tells me i can buy socks for $6 a bag at target is gonna get popped in the kisser. i am just saying, is all.

a closeup of that yarny goodness. i have no idea if they do mail order, but man… just beautiful yarn. they had one called ‘peacock’ that nearly came home with me. but i really should pace myself. i make a lot of things that i could easly buy. i make them, however, because i like to think i’m creative and original. and i’d rather make something that looks imperfect that buy something mass-produced. go ahead, call me crazy.

proof that my brain thinks in color schemes. i bought the yarn, then was at the thrift store half a day later. i had forgtten about the specific colors of the above yarn, when this skirt sitting below the yarn up there jumped out at me. it was a size or so too big, but something about those colors made me buy it. as you can see, they kinda match.

and i have more yarn, but no pictures of said yarn. but one of the skeins i got is called ‘blarney stone’, and it’s dyed by dk knits. her etsy shop is here. she does great colors. and even though it has nothing to do with yarn, i’m in love with this. i may need to buy it.

…

sorry. i’m sitting at this cafe, watching the parking lot. a guy in a big ugly pickup just sped into the lot, and swerved into the space next to my car. he nearly clipped mabel. i sat here, having a minor hard attack, and then i realized my car wasn’t in danger. he did, however, slam his door into the dodge neon on the other side.

i could babble on and on, but it’s really warm in here, and i still have an errand or two to run before board game night at the house. so, stay warm and dry. and safe.

thanks for stopping by.