Archive for the ‘pokin’ fun’ Category

being exposed to me has its good points and bad points.

first, i have to expose you to the original version of mahna mahna.

it’s one of those things most people have heard, or seen, or somehow been exposed to. it’s also something i say at work. well, mahna mahna, i’ll say. a co-worker might chime in with that do doo do do do chorus, or people might look at me funny. like that’s going to stop me.

but one guy i work with – we’ll call him the chicken man, because he has himself quite a few chickens – is apparently easy to imprint. it had already been a crazy day. he sat down next to me, just as i was saying mahna mahna. he sang do doo do do do, and then kept going with the rest of the song. we laughed about it, saying, wow, that probably the quickest song-getting-stuck-in-the-head ever. then we all go home.

a few hours later, i get this text on my cell phone:

Monomunop do do do do do/ Monomunop DO DOO DOO DOO DOO

it made me laugh so hard. i text him back: i win!! i am the awesome!! he responds with:


it’s nice to have someone agree on your awesome standing. anyway, i only see this guy a few times a week. yesterday – monday – i do it to him again. he tells me that mahna mahna can be cancelled out by singing the theme song to “the greatest american hero“. which we do for awhile. and then we al go home.

once more, a few hours later i get a text (spelling issues are his):

OMG YOUR GOING TO HELL WITH ME AND ALL MY FRIENDS! Munominop do do do do do Munominop!  OMG LOL

my response: dude, i have a condo in hell, already paid for. it’s on the nice side of the lake of fire! he says:

i will pick you up in a limo when you FINALLY ARRIVE!! YOUR RAD!!

he’s very excitable, the chicken man is. but i do have a heart. i went to youtube, and found that link for the greatest american hero. i text him back: i found the cure on youtube. the greatest american hero will save you!

chicken man says:


this is what phlebotomists do in their free time.

thanks for stopping by. do do do do


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because it’s wednesday

so, i walk into the patient’s room and say, hi, i’m here to steal some blood. i try to be casual about these things, because… well, it makes my job easier sometimes.

the patient looks up at me and says, you’re not funny. he’s alert, oriented, and kind of a jerk. i’ve dealt with him before. the other day i was drawing his blood, and he was telling me that all the phlebotomists here are terrible, and they never get his blood, and blah blah blah. i said, i don’t mean to brag or anything, but i’ve got your blood. he said, well, aren’t you just a superstar.

i don’t mind sarcasm, but i do mind blatant hostility and crappy attitudes.


i say, well, you’re not attractive. because i can’t think of anything else, clever or otherwise, to say.

he stares at me. you’re still not funny.

i smile. we can go round and round all day, or you can just let me draw your blood.

point is, even if you’re a jerk, you’re still going to get jabbed with a sharp stick. there’s a life lesson in that, i’m sure.

thanks for stopping by.

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so, i’ve taken up yoga.

for a lot of reasons, but mainly because my job is starting to stress me out. i mean, doctors can reattach a human hand, and swap out hearts like they were transmissions, but they sure as hell can’t use a computer. or spell, for that matter – but that’s a gripe for another time. anyway, simply put, doctors order lab tests on the compy, then i go draw them on my next round. but it’s never that simple in real life. they misspell names, they order the labs for the wrong patient, blah blah blah.

so, yoga. on wednesdays.

and, i have to tell you. i consider myself to be in pretty okay shape. i’m no soccer player, sure, but i can take the stairs without winding myself. and, after standing bent over my left leg, with my right leg up behind me, sole pointed toward the ceiling… i have bits that hurt in places i didn’t know bits could hurt.

oh, and seeing your own ass upside down in the mirror behind you? liable to put you off eating anything but lettuce for the next ten years. holy crap.

thanks for stopping by.

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my job hurts


i have a HUGE bruise. a kid just kicked me as i was trying to draw her blood – once in the head, once in the chest. my backup was outside, chatting up a cute nurse.

y’all know i drained that little snotbucket.

thanks for stopping by. oh, my head hurts.

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this has been cracking me up for days.


and… that’s about all i got. i feel like i’ve been run over by a taxicab. i’m not sick or anything; i’m just really knackered. clinicals are done this coming thursday. i had a migraine most of the weekend. i had to completely rip back my mitten, even though it was nearly done, due to major gauge, this-really-won’t-fit-my-hand-so-why-do-i-keep-going issues. crappity crap.

and… okay. kinda gross – in the last week, i have had several women in their 50s tell me they had great veins… in their butt. i’m not even kidding. it wasn’t until after the third or fourth one that i realized they were talking about hemorrhoids. come on, now. although, i kinda want to take one of them up in it. just to see the look on their face, you know?

but hey! thanks for stopping by.

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less than a week left.

 Humorous Pictures

not that i’m counting or anything.

okay, i totally am. and it’s not that i don’t love what i’ve been up to. creepy as it may seem, i’m thoroughly enjoying the professional stabbing of people. but, the long days have caught up with me. i’m pretty boring on the weekends, and my personality is ebbing away due to lack of interpersonal interaction. so, my apologies to those who have endured me live(ish) and in person since the beginning of the year. and anyone willing to make a joke about, you know, how is that all different from the usual you?, i’d like to smack you in the tender bits.

do NOT make fun of a woman this close to the edge. especially one with an extensive knowledge of your anatomy, and access to needles and knives.

now, what was i saying? oh, yeah. my psychotic break. seriously. this close to the edge. and, it’s kind of weird, to be so aware of how untethered you feel you’re acting. i have strange reactions to things. more so than usual, i mean. i know it’s a lack of downtime. i know everything’s just peachy, and i’ll feel better once this is all over.

we’re not even going to discuss the crazy-ass dreams i’ve been having. or the fight i got into with one of the security guards at my work. yup – picking a fight with armed personnel. good times.

i am giggling over my schedule for the next handful of weeks. clinicals end march 13th (woot!). i get on a plane march 14th (woot squared!). i come back march 23rd, just in time to brave eugene for henry rollins (woot cubed!). and… i got a summons for jury duty, so that’s on the 25th (i think; i’ll have to double-check that). my new job starts on march 31st (y’all have no idea how giddy that makes me). which is during the day.

since i screwed up the whole concept of woot-to-the-second-power, bypassing it for squared and cubed, that deserves a woot! factorial.

i’m still a dork.

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fractured second opinion

i was looking at a doctor’s dictation tonight that was possibly supposed to read “fracture, second opinion.” instead, it was “fractured second opinion.” i think i like it better that way.

the lab at hospital a called back today while i was asleep. while i haven’t technically been offered the job, i doubt they’re calling me to tell me i’m witty. so, there may be a minor celebration this weekend.

and i was just clearing out the junk e-mail in my mailbox. it would appear that the spammers think i need a bigger penis. but only about four inches bigger. oh, and a rolex. it appears i need one of those, too.

a wang and a watch. they pretty much have me nailed. uh, not.

thanks for stopping by.

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